You Are Not A Mistake! You Were Made on Purpose For A Purpose.

I often feel like a square in a world of circles. I stand out and rarely blend in. A phrase I hear often is, “I have never met anyone like you.” In reflection, I realized people were complimenting me on how much they enjoyed my personality and humor; however, for some time, it left me feeling self-conscious. I would ponder to myself, “I think they just called me the village weirdo.”

One day I was sitting in traffic, and it hit me. Of course, there is no one else like me. There is only one me. I needed to stop comparing myself to everyone else. I couldn’t be anyone else. Those positions were filled. I could only be me. I decided then, if I was going to be me, I was going to be the best me I could be! I only wish this was something I realized in my teens opposed to my 30s. 

I also realized in being myself I was actually honoring and praising God. I needed to be who he made me to be. I was not a mistake. He made me on purpose for a purpose. He already had great and wonderful plans for me before I even took my first breath! The only thing God was asking of me was to be the person he made me to be and to have faith. Stubbornness, ironically, is one of my gifts.

In being myself, I found out who my real friends were. I realized hateful people actually need the most love as their remarks and attitude were a reflection of their own insecurities. I also discovered the more comfortable I was in being myself, the more comfortable others were with being themselves around me.

Currently, I am finding the confidence to unapologetically be myself and find comfort in the perfect imperfections that make me who I am…sarcastic, random, awkward at times, quirky, real, honest, flawed, Christian, and suffering from volume control issues. Basically, I am the one and only Kim, who was made by God to be awesome.

P.S. He made you awesome too! Internet High Five!

Karaoke Night At The Gym

Went to the gym…and I was the only one there! I did a solo karaoke performance in the weight room and laughed out loud while watching a movie in the cardio area. No headphones=freedom

Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot

While swimming is just a single word for some, it is a full-on panic attack for others. My first thought when I hear the word swimming is, “What am I going to wear?” Do I have anything that fits? During my high school and college years, I wanted one that showed off my size 2 body. 3 kids later, no longer a size 2, and in my late 30’s, I am wondering how much I can wear over a bathing suit and still have mobility in the water. However, I started this blog to serve as encouragement to others. How can I tell others they are awesome and not feel awesome about myself? I mean the name of my blog clearly states I am awesome.

So, I took the plunge and bought a mom suit that I felt confident in and proceeded to wear it in public. I started by dipping my toe in the water and wearing my new suit to the inside pool at my gym. After building up my confidence, I embarked on a journey to the SPAR water park…a very crowded public place. As I was applying sunscreen to my one shade darker then transparent fair skin, I realized I couldn’t get my back. I asked a mom near me if she could spray my back for me.

I didn’t even worry about how I looked, to be honest. I was just focused on having fun with my daughter. Ironically, I did notice how sunburned people around me were getting. I smiled knowing that I had come prepared. The sun didn’t stand a chance against my 110 SPF spray sunscreen.

3 hours later, we leave the park to pick up my boys from a summer camp. I noticed that my back felt little burned. By the time we get home, I felt like my back was on fire. I slowly and painfully removed my shirt to see how bad my back really was. It was bad. Really bad. I had not stressed to that kind stranger the importance of covering my very pale back thoroughly. I had also missed a large section on the back of one of my arms while I was applying sunscreen.

Now I have been sunburned in the past, but this time was different. There were 2 parts on my back that were so painful, I could hardly move. I had a palm-size spot on my left shoulder and the radius of about 2 palms wide on the back of my right shoulder that were, “bring tears to your eyes” kinda painful whenever I moved. My husband and all 3 of my kids took shifts applying aloe to my back. They even used shaving cream with aloe in it at one point. I took several cold baths and applied ice packs to these 2 particular spots.

Nothing was working. 4 days after going to the water park, most of my sunburn had started to fade…except for the 2 spots. These spots actually became bumpy with fluid under them, and the pain seemed to be getting worse. I broke down and went to Urgent Care to see what was going on. Turns out these 2 spots were missed entirely in the sunscreen applying process. I had 2nd-degree burns on my back. The doctor gave me some ointment and a script for Keflex to prevent the burns from becoming infected.

I am thinking I may have been coming in too hot with the Bringing Sexy Back theme. I have now bought a 2nd swimsuit. I will wear the original mom suit for swimming inside and the 2nd swimsuit for outside swimming.

The devil is real guys, but I refuse to let him steal my joy or derail me on my journey. This time I need to remind myself that I have got this. I am awesome and do a self-high five.