I already owned 2 pairs of glasses, so I opted to get prescription sunglasses at my last eye exam just in case I may need them. I made three major mistakes on this day.
My eyes were dilated and I was not wearing my contacts. I was just looking at a blurry image of myself in the mirror and making an educated guess to what I thought I looked like in these sunglasses.
I would like to blame the next mistake on my bad eyesight. I have to turn down the music in my car to look for an address. Clearly, this also applies to sight and thinking, right? I asked my fellow sight impaired/eyes dilated peers to give their opinions on my glasses. To be fair, they gave me their opinions based on what they were able to see. This was literally an example of the blind leading the blind.
I assumed that 2 pairs of glasses would be more than enough to survive the elements of my house. Neither one of my glasses stood a chance. My glasses were fine for 2 years. 730 days. 104 weeks. Then they met their demise, my toddler.
The Demise of Pair 1
I am not a morning person. My toddler attempted to get me moving faster by putting my glasses on my face for me. Attempt one nearly left me blind in one eye as she accidentally stabbed me in one eye. In her second attempt, she stretched the glasses apart to avoid stabbing my other eye (aka the eye that had been promoted to my good eye). She accidentally snapped an entire side of my glasses off. No endeavors to repair these glasses were successful. I tried duct tape, Gorilla glue, and even praying over them. Nothing worked.
Being the optimist I am, I considered myself lucky. After all, I had a spare pair of glasses and one functional eye left. I felt I was being more careful with my second pair and placed my glasses in a location I felt she could not reach. I was wrong. I was very wrong.
The Demise of Pair 2
She went into my bathroom to get my brush so she could make me “look pwetty.” She came out of the bathroom holding my glasses, not my brush. I was wearing my contacts so I could clearly see her walk out of my bathroom, trip, and fall on them. It was like one of those slow-motion scenes from the movie where one person is yelling, “Nooooo” and a 3-second scene slowly stretches out into a 10-second scene. I was able to Gorilla glue these back together, but it was a temporary fix.
Making Retro Trendy
I am now wearing these hideous prescription sunglasses around my house. I look like a geriatric with a hangover. So while I may be short on glasses, my husband has not been short on witty comments.